The Effect of Stockholm Syndrome on Relationships
The second thing sought after love in relationships is and should be respect. However, in some cases, people can also develop positive emotions towards people who do not respect them, treat them badly, torture them, or use physical or verbal violence. If this seemingly abnormal situation sounds familiar to you, you may be experiencing Stockholm syndrome . Let’s learn the details of this disorder together.
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What is Stockholm Syndrome?
Stockholm syndrome is when a person begins to have positive feelings towards his captor, tries to help them as the time spent with his captors increases, and even begins to identify with them and give them rights . This situation is encountered not only in traumatic events such as captivity, but also in many relationships in life. Additionally, experts reveal the instinct for survival as the cause of Stockholm syndrome .
Having lost all connection with the outside world, the victim first develops addiction, thinking that his life is in the hands of his captor. Then the small good deeds done by that person become bigger in your eyes. Later, since she does not want to lose her relationship with the attacker, she begins to have positive feelings towards him. In fact, this relationship that the victim establishes with the attacker is not intentional, but a result of the violence applied. Psychologists describe this as the traumatic bonding process.
For the attacker, the situation is as follows; It is not enough for the victim to obey; he also tries to prove his own rightness. He even wants to receive respect and gratitude from the victim. In fact, its purpose is to make the victim volunteer and try to justify himself in his conscience.
This situation is not just a few isolated events in history. It is a situation that exists in many types of relationships. Although it takes different forms in boss-employee, country manager, public, and male-female relations, the essence of all of them is experiencing Stockholm syndrome . Stockholm syndrome is often used colloquially as falling in love with one’s murderer.
What is Lima Syndrome?
Lima syndrome is the opposite of Stockholm syndrome. Even though it occurs in the same circumstances, here the hostage takers develop loyalty towards the victims . Lima syndrome took its name from the hostage crisis that occurred in Lima, Peru, in 1996. In the incident, citizens of many different countries were kidnapped by guerrillas, and the militants treated the hostages very well for four months and eventually released most of them.
History of Stockholm Syndrome
The first person to use the term Stockholm syndrome was Berejot, who was a psychiatrist and criminologist. Berejot introduced this concept as a result of a bank robbery in Switzerland in 1973 and the events that followed. The incident in question developed as follows; On August 23, 1973, thieves entered a bank in Switzerland to rob it and held the people in the bank captive for 6 days. The robbers treated the bank officials well and, interestingly, established good relations with them. Later, when the hostages realized that the police were going to carry out an operation, they tried to prevent the thieves from being caught by warning them.
During the subsequent court process of the incident, the hostages collected money among themselves and covered the defense expenses of the thieves. A female bank employee broke up with her fiancée and married one of the thieves after his sentence was over. In those years, this situation was interpreted as “they couldn’t steal money from the bank, but they stole the hearts of the hostages.” This event took its place in history as the starting point and most prominent example of the concept of Stockholm syndrome .
Another example is; The case of British journalist Yvanne Ridley, who was kidnapped by the Taliban in Afghanistan in 2001. After being kidnapped, Ridley resisted for eleven days, refusing to eat and fighting with his captors. After eleven days, he was released to study Islam. The British journalist became a Muslim voluntarily in 2003.
Another example of Stockholm syndrome in history was experienced by Patty Hearst, a millionaire woman . The millionaire woman became close to the people who kidnapped her for money and was caught two months later while trying to rob a bank with them. Although her lawyers thought that she did such a thing because she had Stockholm syndrome , the court did not evaluate the situation that way and punished the woman.
Accurate definitions are needed for realistic solutions, and a professional team is needed for this. You can also get information about psychiatric treatments from our team specialized in the field.
Examples of Stockholm Syndrome in Literature and Cinema
This concept, which is mentioned as falling in love with one’s executioner or murderer in many places throughout history , took place in the verses of Omar Khayyam almost a thousand years ago;
If a nation falls in love with its executioner,
Whether you listen to the call to prayer or the bells,
If he doesn’t object, he will suffer like a herd.
He deserves all kinds of humiliation.
In these verses, Omar Khayyam talks about the distortion of positive feelings that society has towards people who mistreat and torture them.
Again, Mevlana describes this situation in Mesnevi as follows: ‘ It is not surprising that the lamb runs away from the wolf, because the wolf is the enemy of the lamb. What is truly astonishing is that the lamb falls in love with the wolf . George Orwell, in his novel 1984, explains that the victim falls in love with the person who tortured her.
In the world of cinema, Stockholm syndrome has been the subject of many films. The famous King Kong movie, Beauty and the Beast, are examples of Stockholm syndrome transferred to the big screen. In domestic cinema, Cüneyt Arkın’s film Gırgır Ali can be cited as an example in this context.
What are the symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome?
Stockholm syndrome occurs because the victim develops a dramatic attachment style towards his or her tormentor. The behaviors that develop as a result of this attachment are as follows:
- Intense feeling of gratitude for a small favor
- Ignoring violence and mistreatment
- Evaluating yourself and the world through the abuser’s eyes
- Losing your own perspective
Feeling grateful to the abuser for surviving
- Seeing the abuser as a victim and pitying him, and trying to justify his actions
- Constantly trying to please the abuser to avoid being subjected to violence.
How is Stockholm Syndrome Treated?
There is no stockholm syndrome test developed to measure Stockholm syndrome . A definition is made based on the patient’s history. Stockholm syndrome is not a normal condition, but the person is often unaware of the condition. In such cases, it is recommended to seek help from an expert. It is very important for the individual to receive therapy in order to correct his distorted perception and regain his lost sense of confidence. Here, the treatment method and process may vary depending on the patient’s history.
