How do emotions work

Emotions are the brain’s way of communicating needs to us. They are felt in the body, for example when the stomach tightens, the heart beats faster, we become restless or feel tense and heavy.  Emotions must be felt so that we react – and we react more strongly when uncomfortable. Sometimes there are so many emotions that we become afraid of them and can develop a kind of emotional intolerance. Then it is good to remind you that emotions are not dangerous, on the contrary, they are on your side. 

Feelings as guides  

A constructive strategy is to try to interpret the feeling and figure out what it wants to tell you. Most of the words we have for emotions come from a mixture of our basic emotions – see the list below.

It can be difficult to track a feeling just when it gives a strong body impact, i.e. when the feeling is in the body. Then blood disappears from our frontal lobes in the brain and it becomes more difficult to think. In that situation we need to take care of the body charge, we need to release the energy, for example take a walk, climb the stairs, talk to a friend, take a break, drink tea or breathe.

But then, try to trace back: 

1. What was it you felt?
2. What need was signaled?  
3. What is important to you? 

In this way, you get a guide going forward for what you can do and how you want to act in the future, as well as how you can take care of yourself in similar situations in the future. 

The basic emotions and their signals  

What is it then that the feelings want to say?

• When you get angry,it was something that you wanted and that was important to you but didn’t happen. Find out what you wanted. What was important to you?  
• When we feel sad,we have experienced a loss. It can also be about compassion for yourself or others. Find out what it was that meant something to you and what it was that was important to you.  
• When we get scared,we experience something as threatening. What/who is threatened? Panic, worry and anxiety are different varieties of fear. Panic is intense fear. Worry is fear of what could happen in the future. Anxiety is sometimes synonymous with worry. However, anxiety can be any kind of emotion and is sometimes a name for a big lump of discomfort we can’t name. Then it is better to try to figure out which emotion(s) are building up the anxiety lump. When we know the feelings and can name them instead of calling it anxiety, the brain calms down.  
• We get happywhen we do something that is good for us. Joy signals that we should do more of what makes us feel good.  
• We feel proudwhen we have done something that we are satisfied with, when we have accomplished something that is in line with how we want to live or how we want to be. It is a reward for us so that we will continue.  
• We are surprisedwhen something surprises us. We can be asked, we need to gather information and come to a conclusion.  
• We feel disgustedwhen we need to distance ourselves from something, bad food, bad actions, wounds, bacteria or the like.  
• We feel guiltywhen we have done something wrong, hurt someone or caused harm. It is a signal to repair the relationship. If we know what is important to us, it might be worth apologizing.  
• We feel shamewhen we have stepped over a norm or acted in a different way from our values. Shame wants us to withdraw, but it usually ends in self-criticism. Then it is better to do the opposite and break the shame – stretch and seek eye contact, so that you can see that others do not judge you as harshly as you do yourself.